Dearest Gentle Reader
Eros & Psyche go Bridgerton
“Dearest Gentle Reader”,
Does this salutation catapult you right back to those pandemic days spent binge watching the first season of Bridgerton?
If it doesn’t, you might have had other more pressing things to do, or mercifully were able to live under the proverbial rock (Netflix named it the most watched TV series ever), unaffected by this new iteration of the classic romantic fairy tale.
And, if you did watch it - all episodes, plus Queen Charlotte - you do know first hand the strong effect this new, yet classic story holds on body and heart.
The romance! The gorgeous outfits! The smoldering look of The Duke of Hastings! Need I mention the steamy love scenes?
There is something so compelling about the archetypal story line - the script for all love stories through all ages:
Two people meet, sparks fly, the attraction is clear, but for whatever reasons it is not meant to be.
The connection is lost/forbidden/destroyed, misunderstandings ensue, hostile interference by jealous relatives/mother-in-laws/fake friends/society keeps the lovers apart - but the heart wants what it wants!
The lovers endure trials and tribulations and at last - love conquers all.
(Insert sweeping soundtrack here)
And they lived happily ever after. The End.
Yes, this is the stuff of Netflix shows, Hollywood movies and Romance novels (remember those?), but it goes way back past antiquity into the creation myths of early civilizations.
As a matter of fact, one of the great classic stories of romantic love “Eros and Psyche” the earliest source of which is found somewhere around 180 AD in a book named “Metamorphoses” by Apuleius.
The book was later on referred to as “The Golden Ass”, a truly more inspired title, I would say.
This epic tale contains all the ingredients of a great romance:
A beautiful, innocent young woman who through no fault of her own finds herself in a dire situation.
A young gorgeous god, full of mischief and still somewhat attached to his mothers apron strings.
Two envious conniving sisters plus a violently jealous mother-in-law who happens to be the most beautiful of all Goddesses.
Add to the mix passionate love, betrayal, trials and tribulations and Divine intervention.
The product is an epic story in which love does conquer all and they get to live happily ever after as Gods on Mount Olympus.
So why are we so attracted to love stories? Why do we identify so strongly with the hero and heroines of these tales?
Ah yes! How delicious is it to disappear into a good story! Even I, dearest reader - who is closer in age to Lady Danbury than to Daphne Bridgerton - identify with her agony of love and desire, feel her body as mine with all that this entails and rejoice in her happy ending - all cynical considerations take a momentary backseat when in the thralls of a good story.
The simple answer is, because they feel good. Because they allow us to feel the longings of our heart and remind us of the part of us that loves to love.
But look a bit deeper and you can see the archetypal threads that span from Eros & Psyche, the Arthurian legends, fairy tales and folk stories of all cultures all the way to Bridgerton.
Archetypes arise from the collective unconscious, a term first coined by the famous psychotherapist C.G Jung - meaning the lived experience that connects all humans through all ages. They represent our shared human experience, our trials, tribulations, losses and triumphs. As such they allow us to enter into our own experience through the backdoor of Story.
We get to learn the lessons, make the mistakes, conquer the demons and “get the girl/guy” without it being too personally confronting.
We experience the journeys of the heroes, the grief of mothers, the throes of young love and it informs us, teaches us, transports us.
All epic love stories have an element of individuation - the need to grow up, the coming of age, the loss of innocence, the fight for love - which might show up as a subtle, almost overlooked aspect, but is actually the single most important lesson which we all have to grasp.
It’s the ultimate act of individuation - the ritual leaving of parents and the village to prove ourselves as individuals - which we are no longer afforded as a coming of age ritual. We can live this initiation through our protagonists and our bodies remember its potent message.
Through their fight against the odds, through their claim of love and freedom we learn how a boundary asserted feels in our body.
In the end, we have learned about ourselves, assimilated exalted heroic traits and recovered the belief that love conquers all, and with that our hearts can open more fully.
A good story creates a state experience. We expand beyond our regular reality, merge with the protagonists, allow ourselves to get swept up in the emotions and lessons of the tale. We resonate and assimilate. We weep, we laugh and in the end, we feel nourished like after an incredible meal.
While the state might not last, the expansion does - we become a bit more open, a bit more compassionate, a bit more daring. The tendrils of the story inform our lives and subtly express themselves in our actions.
And perhaps most importantly, we have taken our rightful place amongst our human family.
I recently told the story of Eros & Psyche as part of “12 Facets of Union”.
You can find the full recording below.
My suggestion is to pour yourself a cup of tea - or beverage of your choice - and let yourself be transported into this epic love story. Don’t analyze or try to glean the lesson, but rather like watching Bridgerton, become part of the story and allow your body and heart to participate in the tale. Enjoy!
And then there is a questions for another post: How do we navigate the belief that our relationship should follow the template of a fairy tale?
